your thong is hanging out like whoa
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
