her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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