question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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