so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
