I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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