My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize