O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
