East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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