I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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