i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
