there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
