That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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