His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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