Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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