At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
