dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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