you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize