I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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