OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
