I'm sorry my penis didn't work
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she peed on how many people?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
