I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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