I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
