god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
