oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
