he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize