I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
