I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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