My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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