Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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