Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
