i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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