he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
