Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
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