Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I puked a lego.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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