Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
