I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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