my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
