he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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