2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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