You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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