Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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