just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
