It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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