If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
