My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I look excited, but its just a facade.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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