if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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