Ambien. No doubt about it.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
