Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
