In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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