he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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