Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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