So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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