there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
