you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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