he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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