While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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