Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
