I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize